The Exercise:

*The person being relaxed is called the receiver and the person doing the exercise is called the giver.

The receiver is arranged so that his or her breathing is visible (chest/ abdomen) to the giver. The giver describes to the receiver what they are going to do – “this is a relaxation exercise your only job is to shut your eyes and listen to the AH sounds I’m going to make.”

Giver: quiet your own mind. Tell the receiver to relax their body (with a soft voice mention each body part that the receiver should relax). When you are ready, watch the breathing of the receiver. Begin to softly say AH with each out breath of the receiver. The exercise is this simple. The giver should continue the exercise for at least 20 minutes and up to an hour. The giver does not touch the receiver during the exercise.

The AH is the sound of the open heart and of letting go. Don’t be concerned if the receiver has an emotional release. More likely than often the receiver will go into a deep relaxation (their breathing may slow down dramatically). If the breathing slows the AH doesn’t have to last as long as the out breath. Once you do this exercise for the full 20 – 60 minutes, then you may use it for shorter periods to ease temporary anxiety.

© 1991 Stephen Levine
(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

Begin to reflect for a moment on what the word “forgiveness” might mean.
What is forgiveness? What might it be to bring forgiveness into one’s life, into one’s mind? Begin by slowly bringing into your mind, into your heart, the image of someone for whom you have some resentment.
Gently allow a picture, a feeling, a sense of them to gather there.
Gently now invite them into your heart just for this moment.
Notice whatever fear or anger may arise to limit or deny their entrance
and soften gently all about it.
No force.
Just an experiment in truth which invites this person in.
And silently in your heart say to this person, “I forgive you.”
Open to a sense of their presence and say, “I forgive you for whatever pain you may have caused me in the past, intentionally or unintentionally, through your words, your thoughts, your actions. However you may have caused me pain in the past, I forgive you.”
Feel for even a moment the spaciousness relating to that person with the possibility of forgiveness.
Let go of those walls, those curtains of resentment, so that your heart may be free.
So that your life may be lighter.
“I forgive you for whatever you may have done that caused me pain, intentionally or unintentionally, through your actions, through your words, even through your thoughts, through whatever you did.
Through whatever you didn’t do.
However the pain came to me through you, I forgive you.
I forgive you.”
It is so painful to put someone out of your heart.
Let go of that pain.
Let them be touched for this moment at least with the warmth of your forgiveness.
“I forgive you, I forgive you.”
Allow that person to just be there in the stillness, in the warmth and patience of the heart.
Let them be forgiven.
Let the distance between you dissolve in mercy and compassion.
Let it be so.
Now, having finished so much business, dissolved in forgiveness, allow that being to go on their way.
Not pushing or pulling them from the heart, but simply letting them be on their own way, touched by a blessing and the possibility of your forgiveness.
And now gently, giving yourself whatever time is necessary, allow the other person to dissolve as you invite another in.
Now gently bring into your mind, into your heart, the image, the sense, of someone who has resentment for you.
Someone whose heart is closed to you.
Notice whatever limits their entrance and soften all about that hardness.
Let it float.
Mercifully invite them into your heart and say to them, “I ask your forgiveness.”
“I ask your forgiveness.”
“I ask to be let back into your heart. That you forgive me for whatever I may have done in the past that caused you pain, intentionally or unintentionally, through my words, my actions, even through my thoughts.”

“However I may have hurt or injured you, whatever confusion, whatever fear of mind caused you pain, I ask your forgiveness.”

And allow yourself to be touched by their forgiveness.

Allow yourself to be forgiven.
Allow yourself back into their heart.
Have mercy on you.
Have mercy on them.
Allow them to forgive you.
Feel their forgiveness touch you.
Receive it.
Draw it into your heart.
“I ask your forgiveness for however I may have caused you pain in the past.
Through my anger, through my lust, through my fear, my ignorance,
my blindness, my doubt, my confusion.
However I may have caused you pain, I ask that you let me back into your heart.
I ask your forgiveness.”
Let it be.
Allow yourself to be forgiven.
If the mind attempts to block forgiveness with merciless indictments, recriminations, judgments, just see the nature of the unkind mind.
See how merciless we are with ourselves.
And let this unkind mind be touched by the warmth and patience of forgiveness.
Let your heart touch this other heart so that it may receive forgiveness.
So that it may feel whole again.
Let it be.
And now gently bid that person adieu and with a blessing let them be on their way, having even for a millisecond shared the one heart beyond the confusion of seemingly separate minds.
And now gently turn to yourself in your own heart and say, “I forgive you,” to you.
It is so painful to put ourselves out of our hearts.
Say, “I forgive you,” to yourself.
Calling out to yourself in your heart, using your own first name, say “I forgive you,” to you.
If the mind interposes with hard thoughts, such as that it is self indulgent to forgive oneself, if it judges, if it touches you with anger and unkindness,
just feel that hardness and let it soften at the edge.
Let it be touched by forgiveness.
Allow yourself back into your heart.
Allow you to be forgiven by you.
Let the world back into your heart.
Allow yourself to be forgiven.
Let that forgiveness fill your whole body.
Feel the warmth and care that wishes your own well-being.
Seeing yourself as if you were your only child, let yourself be bathed by this mercy and kindness.
Let yourself be loved.
See your forgiveness forever awaiting your return to your heart.
How unkind we are to ourselves.
How little mercy.
Let it go.
Allow you to embrace yourself with forgiveness.
Know that in this moment you are wholly and completely forgiven.
Now it is up to you just to allow it in.
See yourself in the infinitely compassionate eyes of the Buddha, in the sacred heart of Jesus, in the warm embrace of the Goddess.
Let yourself be loved.
Let yourself be love.
And now begin to share this miracle of forgiveness, of mercy and awareness.
Let it extend out to all the people around you.
Let all be touched by the power of forgiveness.
All those beings who also have known such pain.
Who have so often put themselves and others out of their hearts.
Who have so often felt isolated, so lost.
Touch them with your forgiveness, with your mercy and loving kindness, that they too may be healed just as you wish to be.
Feel the heart we all share filled with forgiveness so that we all might be whole.
Let the mercy keep radiating outward until it encompasses the whole planet.
The whole planet floating in your heart, I mercy, in loving kindness, in care.
May all sentient beings be freed of their suffering, of their anger, of their confusion, of their fear,
of their doubt.
May all beings know the joy of their true nature.
May all beings be free from suffering.
Whole world floating in the heart.
All beings freed of their suffering.
All beings’ hearts open, minds clear.
All beings at peace.
May all beings at every level of reality, on every plane of existence, may they all be freed of their suffering.
May they all be at peace.
May we heal the world, touching it again and again with forgiveness.
May we heal our hearts and the hearts of those we love by merging in forgiveness,
by merging in peace.

© 1987 Stephen Levine
(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

Let your eyes close.
As your eyes close and you feel your body breathing, let your hand,
your thumb, press into that point at the center of the chest between the
nipples where it feels so sensitive to the touch. As sensitive as we are.
And push into it.
Feel all that pushes back. Feel all that tries to resist, that denies the
pain. All the armoring. All the resistance to life.
Push into it. Let the pain into your heart. Breathe that pain into
your heart. All those moments of self-hatred, all that anxiety, all those
times you could just jump out of your skin.
All those moments you wished you were dead. All held there, all
pushing against the pressure, all denying life. Let the heart break.
Breathe the pain into the heart. Let the pain in.
Let yourself in.
Push into it.
It is so long since you have entered fully into your heart.
Feel the grief that lies there just beneath the tip of your thumb.
All the loss. All the moments you couldn’t protect yourself or the people you loved.
The helplessness. The hopelessness.
Feel it, breathe that pain into your heart.
Let go of the resistance. Let go of the self-protection.
It is just too much suffering to be locked out of your heart. Nothing is worth it.
Push resolutely into your heart. Not causing you pain but creating
deep attention to whatever arises there.
Breathe in that pain.
Acknowledge that place which knows that all your children, all your
friends will die some day.
The place that knows you might die and leave so much undone.
All the things you didn’t say, all the love you didn’t give, all the pain
you have held on to right there pushing back.
Breathe through it, push into that pain.
Let it in. Let it into your heart.
Don’t hold on.
Let it in.
The ten thousand children starving to death at this very moment.
The pain of mothers with empty breasts trying to feed starving children.
The pain.
All those feelings of having been misunderstood, of having been
unloved right there in the midst of these sensations.
And how hard it is for us to love, how incredibly hard it is to keep the heart open.
So frightened, so doubtful, so scared.
Let the armoring melt into the center of your heart without force,
without punishing yourself. Draw the pain in, draw it in with each breath.
With each breath let your heart be filled with yourself. So much has
gone unexpressed. Layer upon layer covering the heart. Let the pain in.
Make room for the pain. Breathe it in. Breathe it in.
Let the pain come and let the pain go.
Have mercy.
Have mercy on yourself.
Let the pain out.
Breathe it in and breathe it out.

So much held for so long.

Let it go. Breathe it out. Let yourself into your heart. Make room

in your heart for yourself.

Have mercy on you.

Let it come and let it go.

Let the thumb push into the armoring that guards the feelings of loss

and grief there. Focus the attention like a single point of light in the center

of the pain.

Go deeper.

Don’t try to protect the heart.

Maintaining a steady gentle pressure at the center of the chest, feel

the suffering held there. All the loss held, all the fears, the insecurity, the

self-doubt.

Surrender into the feelings. Let it all come through.

Allow the pain into your heart. Allow the pain out of your heart.

Each breath breathing awareness into the heart, each exhalation releasing

the pain of a lifetime.

Let yourself experience it all. Nothing to add to it. Nothing to push

away. Just see what is there, what we have carried for so long. Feel the

inevitable loss of everyone you love. The impotent anger of being tossed

into a universe of such incredible suffering.

The fear of the unknown. The ache of the loss of love, the isolation.

Let go into the pain. Breathe into it. Allow the long-held grief to melt.

Bring it into a soft awareness that dissolves the holding with each

breath. Let yourself be fully born even in the midst of the pain of it all.

Let your heart open into this moment.

Allow awareness to penetrate into the very center of your being. Use

the sensations and the grief point as though they were a conduit, a tunnel

into the center of your heart, into a universe of warmth and caring.

Feel the heart expanding into space. The pain just floating there.

Fear and loss suspended in compassionate mercy. Breathe into the center of the heart.

Let go of it. Let the heart open past its longing and grief.

Now take your hand away and fold it in your lap.

Feel the sensitivity remaining, throbbing at the center of your chest as

though it were a vent into your heart.

Draw each breath into that warmth and love.

Breathing in and out of the heart.

Breathing gently into your heart.

by Stephen Levine
read by Dale Borglum
© 1991 Stephen Levine

(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

Try to find a comfortable position and settle into it.
Slowly allow your attention to move toward the area of discomfort.
Watch what feelings arise as you let your awareness approach that place.
Let the pain just be there.
Is the mind and body at war? Much resistance? Is the mind cursing the body?
Is there any fear accumulated in the area of discomfort?
Notice if any old mind fears cling there, turning pain to suffering.
Resistance to hellishness.
Notice whatever feelings arise in that area.
Begin to soften all about physical and mental discomfort.
Let the skin, the flesh, the muscles, begin to soften all around the pain.
Let the fist of resistance and fear which closes down around the
unpleasant slowly begin to open. Releasing tension around discomfort.
Letting go of the rigidity holding unwanted sensations.
Let go. This holding, this old resistance and dread turns the moment sour.
Let go. It is so painful to hold to the pain with anger and fear and hopelessness.
Let it go.
Let it begin to float in awareness instead of being trapped hard in the body.
Moment to moment sensation arises. Moment to moment opening.
Softening to each particle of sensation.
Let the muscles soften.
Let the flesh open to receive the moment as it is in mercy and loving kindness.
The fear, the anger, the sense of failure dissolving into the softness.
Each moment new.
Softening from sensation to sensation.
Notice how the least thought or subtlest holding reestablishes tension.
Soften. Moment to moment letting go.
Remembering the mercy that pain cries out for – soften again and
again and once again.
Let the discomfort just be there, not holding to it, not even pushing it away.
Softening to the very center of each instant of sensation and feeling.
Meeting the heart of our pain in mercy and forgiveness.
Moving gently into it to heal, to release so much frustration, so much
helplessness. Allowing at last the moment simply to be as it is with such
mercy for ourselves and these sensations arising in soft flesh.
Soften the ligaments.
Soften the tissue all around each sensation. Let each sensation float
free in this softness. Letting it be in the heart of mercy and kindness
toward oneself, toward this moment, toward these sensations constantly changing.
Open all around sensation gently.
Push nothing away.
Let resistance melt from the body with a sigh. Let go of long-held
fear and doubt.
And in the mind that holds to this pain, that prays to it and wars with
it, that beseeches it, a deeper softening begins to permeate. The mental fist opens.
Feel the release of tension in the mind as it softens to the unpleasant
in the body. Have mercy.
A moment of fear, a moment of distrust, a moment of anger – each
arising and dissolving, one after the other. Each mind-moment dissolving into the next.
The spaciousness increasing.
Hard reactions melting to soft responses in the mind. The body
softening to receive the moment as is.
Moment-to-moment softening all about sensations arising.
Softening the tissue. Softening the muscles. Softening around each
moment of experience arising in the body.
Softening to the center of each cell.
Sending mercy and loving kindness into each moment of sensation
arising and dissolving in space.
Each instant of sensation received in an awareness that gently embraces.
Letting go of discomfort.
Letting it float in a merciful awareness.
Letting the mind float in the heart.
Receiving this moment in the opening heart of mercy.
Receiving this softness in all the far-flung galaxies of the body.
In the vast body, such mercy, such kindness, receives each moment.
Softening. Opening with a merciful awareness we continue the path
of the healing we took birth for.

© 1991 Stephen Levine
(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

As the first meditation opens the body and becomes your own, consider expanding the practice.
Find a comfortable place to sit and when the body is soft and
sensations are seen coming and going all by themselves, let the mind and
body settle into that flow.
As you open to the body-moment, receive the mind in that same open spaciousness.
Letting go all about sensations and feelings. Softening.
Opening. The mind encouraged not to hold anywhere. Just observing the
passing show, sensations arising and dissolving in soft tissue. Feelings and
thoughts arising and dissolving in a spacious softness.
Letting go of thoughts. Just letting them run themselves out,
watching them dissolve into their own natural impermanence.
Floating in space for a moment. Vanishing into the process.
Let thought think itself in this spaciousness.
Whatever thought arises, let it float as it will. No interference.
Whatever sensation arises, let it float too in the vastness of being.
Thoughts, sensations, feelings, floating in this boundaryless spaciousness.
Not being the pain, not being even the thoughts about pain, just being
itself, not leaning toward or away from anything.
Just an openness in which experience is unfolding as a moment of
sensation, a moment of thought, a moment of feeling, a moment of
smelling, of hearing, of tasting, of touching. Life unfolding moment to
moment in a boundaryless spaciousness beyond definition.
A particle of fear arises, dissolving into a moment of doubt,
dissolving into a new softening arising. Floating free.
Each mind-moment like a bubble floating in limitless space.
Sense the space in which this process floats.
Whatever arises in the mind or body is constantly changing. Doubt,
confusion, expectation, fear, just let them all pass through. Don’t hold anywhere.
Thoughts, like sensations, dissolve in space.
There one moment, vanished the next.
Confidence, relief, and trust arise from the heart that has room for
even our discomfort. Old mind dissolving in this soft clarity.
Observe the ever-changing flow of these thoughts and sensations.
Nothing stays for long, constantly arising, constantly disappearing into the flow of being.
Sensations float in the body, changing moment to moment.
The body softens to receive even the subtlest movement of sensation.
The mind softens too, receiving constant change as thought, as
feeling, as sensation, as experience perpetually unfolding. The whole body
soft, open, not holding, not pulling back, just allowing things to be as they
are without the least interference.
Without the least clinging or condemning.
Sensations arising, thoughts arising, no resistance, no reaching out,
no pushing away, no tightening, just soft open space.
Each moment experienced in softness.
Even the sound of my voice arising and dissolving in great spaciousness.
Hearing happening all by itself.
Nothing to do.
Just sound changing instant to instant within the vastness.
Feel this spaciousness of being which expands outward in every
direction.
It encompasses each sound, each moment of thought, of sight, of feeling.
A moment of hearing followed by a moment of seeing, by a moment of thought.
All floating in the vast space of awareness, of beingness itself.
The sound of my voice.
A car passing in the street.
An airplane crossing overhead.
All occurring within the boundaryless spaciousness of awareness.
No boundary anywhere, awareness extends to the end of the universe and beyond.
Let the mind become like this great expanse of space.
Each experience like a cloud floating through this vastness.
Each feeling, each hearing, each seeing, each smelling constantly
changing, folding in upon itself, dissolving in the vastness.
Sense how this awareness exists everywhere at once, extending out
everywhere in all directions, boundaryless, receptive, universal.
The edgeless space of being no longer held to the outline of the body.
The whole field of sensation floating in edgeless space.
Awareness not limited to the small body, to these momentary
sensations but extending outward everywhere, radiating into space.
Not contained even in the space of this room or in the atmosphere of this planet.
Awareness expanding into unlimited space.
Let this boundaryless awareness be the open mind which holds to
nothing, which creates nothing, which impedes nothing. Which allows all
things to pass without the least clinging or interference, observing sound,
sight, memory, feeling, arising and dissolving each and every one in an
enormous awareness.
Each sound arising and dissolving in the spaciousness.
Each sensation, each thought, each feeling floating in awareness.
No edges anywhere.
Limitless being unfolding in limitless awareness.
Body soft, sensations floating in vast space.
Mind open and clear, process unfolding in this endless spaciousness.
Let the edges of the body, of the mind, melt into the vastness.
Sensations, feelings, floating.
Each moment changing, floating free in pure awareness.
In this vast mind, the open heart, the body is received like a newborn
into the arms of a loving mother.
Awareness embracing everything, holding to nothing, the mind
dissolved in the vast heart.
Sensations floating free, dissolving in space.
Dissolving.
Just space.
Just peace.

by Joan Halifax Roshi

Part 1 : Being with Pain

Pain is part of our experience of life in a human body. There is no way to escape from feeling pain sooner or later. We often fear pain and feel victimized by it. Being in pain now we may remember pain of the past or anticipate more pain in the future. And pain can remind us that our life span is finite, our connection to life fragile, and beings everywhere experience pain in one way or another.

Sometimes we feel trapped by small as well as great pains. A toothache can take over our whole life. The point of a needle pressed into our skin can fill us with anxiety. A tumor pressing against nerves in the abdomen can consume us with fire and fear. And the pain of a phantom limb or womb can rob us of sleep and peace. We often look on pain as an enemy, and we will do anything to get away from pain. In a way, our culture is very wrapped up in its escape from pain, whether through addiction or our unwholesome, self-referential and fearful obsession with pain.

For many people, one of the most dreaded aspects of dying is the anticipation or experience of pain. Indeed, pain is an  experience that many of us will not be able to avoid when we are dying. Yet pain is a teacher, whether we like it or not. We  can use our experience of pain now to help us to prepare for the pain that might be present as our bodies are dying.  Exploring pain gives us many lessons that bring our life into greater focus and meaning, teaching us strength and patience, and giving us compassion and humility, ways of being that can make a difference in our dying.

Sometimes, it is skillful for us to take ourselves away from pain. Perhaps the pain is not worth getting involved with. We should just let it go or ignore it. Giving it too much attention might increase it and make an unnecessary problem of it. At other times, we might not have the mental or energetic resources to deal with it. We are too sensitive, too tired, or very afraid. Then we can focus our attention on something else, something that is healing, engaging or pleasant.

When we feel stronger, have the right kind of support, or have mental buoyancy, commitment, and resilience, we may have earned the strength to deal with pain directly. If this is the case, we may want to experience our pain fully. Being there for our pain may decrease the negative experience of pain as we learn about it and observe it change, and as the emotions intensifying the experience of pain withdraw. Being there can also teach us that the experience of pain is impermanent and train our mind to not be overwhelmed by pain in the future.

Many of us know that working with our pain directly is one of the ways that we have strengthened our spiritual development. Maybe we have discovered the truth of impermanence by noticing that pain is always changing in one way or another. Perhaps we have come to a place where we don’t feel so heavy, cornered, or tragic when we are in pain, because we have dropped the story around the pain and have let go of any sense of outcome. Maybe our pain has nourished compassion within us as we realize that many others have pain like ours.

Our pain can teach us patience, give us the strength to endure, make us more mindful, and be our road to boundlessness as we increase the horizon of our experience of it. We might even look on it as a gift, as have many dying people who have realized that their pain and suffering drove them into practice and made their life and relationships more valuable and helped them to reorder their priorities.

The question then is what do we do when we are in pain. Are we afraid of pain? Do we try to escape it in unhealthy ways? Do we make a big deal of it? Are we likely to become anxious when faced with pain? Do we find ourselves caught in the past, remembering all of our ancient pains, or anticipating a pain-filled future? Do we accept our pain, making a

friend of it? Do we use pain as a way to increase our resilience, our strength? Do we take the opportunity, when in pain, to open our feelings to others who feel pain like us? Are we able to live with our pain with equanimity? Can we make our pain a teaching on impermanence and a basis for strength and compassion?

Of course we do not want to live a life of pain. We want to learn to work effectively with mental and physical pain, so that pain does not dominate us. Yet sometimes we cannot transform pain through practice or psychological strategies. This is just the way it is, and we need to be realistic and face the truth that pain might be an obstacle to our practice and to our life.

In this regard, I once asked His Holiness the Dalai Lama about this subject, and he was emphatic that we should always do the best we can to help relieve pain, whether with modern pharmacology or with meditation and understanding. This was just compassionate, he stated. I asked him if he thought that the mind was at risk if certain strong drugs were used to help relieve severe pain. He said that even if the medications fog the mind, such things do not affect the mind ground. He explained that the mind ground, which is not touched by conditioning or chemicals, is liberated at the moment of death. If the deceased has had a strong practice in life, then the way is clear, the conditioning present, for becoming one with the nature of mind at the moment of death.

Today, more and more often, spiritual and psychological approaches to pain management are used with pain medicine to enhance the effect of the drugs and to help dying people to relax and let go of fear and of life. Fortunately, there are many medications that make it possible to manage pain without diminishing awareness. This can give a dying person the time to strengthen practice and be with others and not have pain or an unclear mind be an obstacle.

I am mentioning this since I have encountered people with a spiritual background who withhold pain medication from their relatives because they thought that the pain was a purification process, the medication would cloud the mind of the dying person, or they were concerned about issues of addiction. My approach is pretty practical and supports bringing together the gifts of modern medicine as well as the skillful strategies of psychology and spirituality.

It is helpful if we have a practical perspective on our relationship toward pain. From the point of view of Buddhism, for example, we are taught that our pain and suffering are not bad or wrong. They are simply other aspects of life. Being thus, we are encouraged to recognize our pain and accept it. We learn to see our pain as an experience that brings us to practice and can teach us more acceptance and resilience as we work with it.

Our practice gives us room to cry and to share our suffering with others. It also encourages us to give ourselves more space so that pain and suffering do not take over our lives. In practice, we explore our pain and discover it is not who we really are. Moreover, our practice can help us separate pain from suffering. Pain is the sensation; the story around pain is the stuff of suffering. The arrow of pain doesn’t necessarily have to be followed by the arrow of suffering, when you make the distinction between the sensation of pain and the story surrounding and amplifying pain. What I often say to myself when I am in pain is: “I am in pain, but I am not suffering.” I say this to remind myself not to amplify the pain by building a story around it.

We also need to let go of our expectations of a good or bad outcome regarding pain. Sometimes something can be done to alleviate our pain. Sometimes there is nothing to be done about pain, except to experience it. So be it. Our expectations of being pain-free can fill us with anxiety and disappointment. Our practice is to learn to accept pain, bear witness to it, and remember that it will change for better or for worse. Pain then reminds us to open to Not-knowing.

We can also discover that dwelling on the negative aspects of pain will not help the pain at all. We need to find fresh ways of looking at and experiencing pain that make pain an ally not an enemy. Become a friend to your pain, the teachers say. Reach out to it. See what it needs. You may not know what to do, but your pain might. Give your pain space. Don’t irritate it. And see what it wants to teach you. Or use the experience of your pain to develop compassion as you contemplate the lives of others who have pain like you.

Here is a Buddhist phrase that gives us a feeling for this: “May my pain be a ransom to relieve the suffering of all motherly beings.” Perhaps you will contemplate this phrase with commitment when you are in pain. Ten years ago, I was very sick and in a lot of pain. I was worried and discouraged because my body was not healthy. Fortunately I had good friends who would walk with me in the nearby mountains. Even though it was a stretch for me to do this, I gave myself that little extra push, because the mountains were an inspiration to me. In this way, I would spend time away from the worry about my body, giving my heart and mind some space in the vastness of the wilderness.

The mountains were the physical and spiritual nourishment that made it possible for me to work with my suffering, my story, and to take care of what needed to be taken care of. With more energy, I began to explore the fact that many women were sick like me. I opened my heart to them and began to practice for them, not just for me alone. My pain and suffering slowly became a ransom to help others. Then with my heart more open I could give myself more internal room for the pain in my body to just be. And slowly I got the courage and had the energy to have the necessary surgery.

Years later, I realized that I could have easily dwelled in my misery. A little justifiable and a little self-centered. My obsession with my situation could have led to a kind of paralysis keeping me from being cured and from healing. In Zen, we call this tightness “being tied up without a rope.” I needed to change my attitude toward my situation. That is, I needed to put more room around my difficulties, as I was getting claustrophobic in my concern with my illness. I needed to consider the suffering of others and offer them my support. I needed to do positive and healing things to give my heart a chance to heal from worry. I needed to relax and let go. I also needed to accept my sickness and ask for help.

The Tibetan teacher Tulku Thondup uses a wonderful image to describe how we are when we have transformed the  claustrophobia of being in the grip of pain and suffering. He compares our freedom from this state to a skydiver who is dancing in the sky as he is falling to earth. He says the trick is to relax and let go. This means that we must have the courage to let go into our pain, which might seem really scary. We might be afraid of being overwhelmed by pain. But we also might be so desperate to deal with our pain that we generate the courage to really get into it. Then we have the chance to find pain’s true nature: that pain is made of non-pain elements. It is composed of sensation, duration, intensity, and cadence. It has no inherent goodness or badness. It is not unchanging. And, most importantly, it is not who we really are.

When a dying person is in the early stages of pain, it is often helpful to work with relaxation techniques, mindful breathing, music, visualizations, giving pain attention and observing its qualities, or breathing into the pain. If possible, I teach people Mindfulness Practice, the Body Scan, Tonglen, and Metta Practices as meditation strategies that can be helpful for pain. The best situation is when a person in pain already has a practice. Then my job is simply to support her practice. I have also developed some simple practices that are specific for working with the suffering of pain. Often these practices are helpful compliments to conventional pain management with drugs.

People often discover strategies that can be used to prevent the pain from reaching such an intensity that it has to be attended to with conventional medicine. One friend painted out her pain. Another set his pain to music. A third friend had had such a vivid experience of the truth of impermanence that he could objectify his pain and not be dominated by it. Yet if pain has reached a certain threshold, pharmaceuticals can be life giving and profoundly supportive of a gentle death. Good medical pain management with spiritual and psychological support can make it possible for an individual to turn to spiritual practice in the experience of active dying with fewer obstacles to the mind.

There is another important point to consider as we experience pain or work with those who are in pain. As a caregiver and a person who has had her share of pain, I try to remember the Buddhist teachings on the interdependence of the relative and absolute. This means that I try to be sensitive to the details of pain and suffering, and at the same time be aware of one’s true nature.

When I sit with a dying person, I try to do whatever I can to help relieve pain and suffering. Sometimes there is something that can be done: kind words, medication, meditation, physical touch, or simply bearing witness and being present. But maybe there is nothing but suffering and misery. I need to respect this experience of being trapped in misery. At the same time I know that suffering and pain are transitory, and if I look deeply enough, I see that beneath the misery is an unconditioned realm that is free of ill-being.

I try to open to both suffering and freedom from suffering. If I see only suffering, then I am caught in the relative nature of existence: we are nothing but suffering. If I see only the pure and vast heart, then I am denying the truth of our human  experience. I also need to let go of my expectations of a good outcome, even though they may give inspiration and energy to my practice. I have learned that my attachment to a pain-free outcome can cause more pain and suffering. At the same time, I do the best I can to help. Imagine sitting with a dying person, someone in intractable pain. Imagine feeling his pain and suffering with compassion and kindness. Now look through the pain and suffering to the very ground of this one’s being, that unshakable heart, where all categories, dualities, cravings, delusions, and dislikes have never been. See her true nature, free from all ill-being, and at the same time, see the truth of this one’s suffering.

For many of us, our pain has brought meaning and depth to our lives, and guided us to our spiritual practice. Our  willingness to be with pain and suffering and at the same time see the dying person’s or our own true nature is one of the most important capacities of a caregiver. This is why you are encouraged to explore your own pain and suffering as a way to uncover the unmoving truth within your own being. This may lead you to see in a pure way the basic goodness that is the true heart of all beings, that which connects us in the spirit of non-duality. You will see the truth of suffering and the truth of well-being–and the truth of their interdependence. Your own willingness and practice foster your ability to look through the pain deeply, with stability. So please become a good friend to your pain and try not to reject it.

Sometimes sitting with people who are in pain and suffering is pretty hard to take. We want so much to do something; we may feel helpless, heartbroken, and even angry. What can we offer? The treasure that many of us forget is our  compassionate and equanimous presence. This presence also exists within the one who is suffering. Often there is nothing to do but be present for pain and suffering just as it is. Our ability to be present for suffering can help the sufferer also be present. Remembering our strong back and soft front, we can offer equanimity and compassion and perhaps inspire the same for the one who is suffering.

**********

In that which follows, I offer three simple practices for working with pain. Always begin your practice by letting the body settle. You can lie down, or sit on a chair or meditation cushion. Then remember why you are practicing. Let yourself cultivate an open and tender heart. Recall the suffering of others. Remember that there are many who are also experiencing pain like you are and pray that they can transform their experience and be free of pain and suffering. Then begin the practice. Someone can guide you through the meditation by reading it, or you can read a section, and then practice the “feeling” of it. At the end of your practice session, dedicate any goodness that has arisen in the course of your practice to the well-being of others. Then rest for a time with the atmosphere of the practice within you, letting the presence of the practice continue to nourish you.

Part 2 : Meditation: Transforming Pain Through Awareness

Remember why you are practicing: to help others and yourself.

Let your heart open to this aspiration.

Gently bring your attention to your breath.

Let the breath settle and become even and regular.

Take as much time as you need to settle the breath.

Now bring your breath deep within your body.

When you breathe in, the belly rises.

Breathing out, the belly falls.

Gently merge your awareness with your breath,

as your body relaxes.

Let the breath be deep in your body.

Give yourself time to bring together your attention and your breath.

Do this for ten breaths.

When you breathe in, let the breath nourish you.

When you breathe out,

softly say the sound “ah” as though you are sighing.

Let the body relax as you practice.

Continue this for at least ten breaths.

Gently bring your attention to your pain.

Let yourself soften to your pain.

Try to accept it without judging or fearing it.

Aware of your pain, breathe into it.

On the out-breath, have the feeling of fully accepting your pain.

Now merge your breath with your pain.

Breathe into your pain and out from it.

Breathing into your pain, be in touch with your pain.

Breathing out, let go into whatever you are experiencing.

Continue this for at least ten breaths.

Now, with your mind, explore the sensation of pain.

Is it sharp or dull, pulsating or penetrating?

Is it focused or does it spread out from its source?

Let yourself explore the sensation, intensity and quality of the pain.

Feel objective about your exploration of pain,

not judging or fearing it, if possible.

Give yourself time to really explore your pain.

On the in-breath, bring warmth to your pain.

On the out-breath, soften to your pain, accepting your pain.

As you do this, be aware of any change in the pain sensation.

Do this for at least ten breaths.

Now gently bring your awareness to your whole body.

Moving out from your pain, let your awareness fill your whole body.

Bring your breath and attention to entire body.

Be open to how your body is feeling.

Notice if there is resistance or fear.

Accept your feelings as you accept whatever your body feels like.

Take time to be with your body.

Let your awareness flow out to your surroundings.

Gently accept whatever your experience might be.

Rest for a while with this expansive awareness.

Breathe in the world around you.

Breathe out into the world around you.

Let a feeling of boundlessness arise within you as you breathe.

When you are ready to complete the practice,

send whatever good that has arisen to others.

Part : Meditation: Transforming Pain Through Practicing the Boundless Abodes

Find a phrase or phrases that are appropriate to your situation and practice them with the

breath or simply let them carry you along. You can do this practice sitting or laying down.

Begin by letting the body and breath settle. Remember why you are practicing and cultivate

an altruistic aspiration. Do the practice simply and gently.

Lovingkindness

May I turn to my pain with kindness.

May I be filled with compassion and lovingkindness

for others and myself.

May the power of lovingkindness sustain me.

May love and kindness fill and heal my pain.

May I relax and send warmth and ease to my pain.

May this experience in some way be a blessing for me.

May lovingkindness heal my body and mind.

Compassion

May my suffering show me the way to compassion.

May I receive other’s love and compassion.

May I experience my pain with compassion.

May I be open to feel my pain.

May I be free from pain and suffering.

May I connect with all those who have pain like I am experiencing.

Although I am in pain, so are many others.

May those with pain like mine be free of their suffering.

May I receive and transform the pain of all those who suffer like me.

Sympathetic Joy

May beings everywhere be free of pain.

May peace and goodness be present for all beings.

May your wellbeing continue.

May all beings be happy.

Equanimity

May I observe my pain with equanimity.

May I be present for my pain and suffering.

May I accept things as they are.

May I have the strength to face my situation.

May I accept my pain, knowing that I am not my pain,

not my body, not my illness.

Even though I am in pain, I can be present for it.

May I realize that this pain is not permanent.

Acceptance and Surrender

May I accept my pain,

knowing that it does not make me bad or wrong.

May I be open to my pain and let go into it.

May I let go of the fear around my pain.

May accept my pain, knowing that my heart is not limited by it.

May I be peaceful and let go of expectations.

May I be open with others and myself about my experience.

May this experience open me to the true nature of life.

May I be open to the true nature of life.

May I find the inner resources to be present for my pain.

May I be peaceful with this experience of pain.

May I let go of my struggle.

May I be peaceful and let go of my expectations around my pain.

May I breathe into my pain, surrendering to it,

knowing it will change.

4

Meditation: Transforming Pain Through the Elements

You can read this practice and rest in the atmosphere of each section, or a guide can read

it to you.

Bring your attention to your whole body and let the body settle.

Accept whatever your experience might be.

Be with your body as you inhale and exhale.

Bring your breath deep into your body.

Fill your whole body with the in-breath.

Gently bring your attention to your whole body on the in-breath.

Let go as you breathe out, letting the breath sweep the body.

Now consider that your body is composed

of earth, water, fire, air, and space.

In the practice that follows,

consider the elements that constitute the body.

Invite yourself to use the elements

as a way to transform your experience of pain.

Contemplate the element of earth.

Feel earth’s solidity and strength.

Now feel the solidness of your body,

and the element of earth in your body.

Feel your bones, your tissue.

Your body is your temporary home.

Feel welcomed by your body.

Invite your mind to feel at home in your body.

Remember that when you die,

the earth element of your body will return to the earth.

Contemplate the element of water.

Feel water’s fluidity and power to accept anything and to purify.

Feel the water element of your body:

blood, urine, mucous, and lymphatic fluid.

Feel the sense of flow in your body.

Feel your body’s power to purify.

Let your mind and body settle like a still pool.

Remember that when you die,

the water element of your body will return to water.

Contemplate the element of fire.

Feel fire’s energy to give warmth, light, mature, and heal.

Feel fire’s power to transform.

Feel the element of fire in your body.

Be in touch with your body’s warmth and its capacity to digest.

Let the element of fire open up the mind to its own luminosity.

Remember that when you die,

the fire element of your body will return to fire.

Contemplate the element of air.

Feel the power of wind in your breath.

Be aware of any movement in your body.

Feel the element of air in your body as your breathe in and out.

Be aware of the lightness and the strength of wind in your body.

Let the element of wind bring clarity to your mind

and openness to your body.

Remember that when you die,

the air element of your body will return to air.

Contemplate the element of space.

See if you can feel your body as boundless,

both vast and at one with all beings and things.

Let yourself experience the openness of your own nature.

Give yourself room to experience space without limits.

Let the element of space give you room for peace.

Remember that when you die, you will be boundless.

Now bring your attention to your pain.

Breathe into and out of your pain.

Give yourself time with each of the elements

in relation to your experience of pain.

Let the element of earth give you tolerance for your pain.

Let the element of water absorb your pain.

Let the element of fire burn through your pain.

Let the element of air release your pain.

Let the element of space give room for your pain.

Rest in openness

as the elements do their natural work on your behalf.

When you are ready,

dedicate the merit of your practice to the well-being of others.

© 1991 Stephen Levine
(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

Let your eyes close and bring your attention to the breath.
Let awareness come to the level of sensation.
As awareness begins to establish itself in the moment, allow it to
approach the area of discomfort.
Just feel what is there. Nothing to change. Nothing to do about it.
Just sensations arising in the moment.
Let all be just as it is.
As awareness approaches the area of discomfort, is there any tension
noticed, any rigidity that it must pass through?
Is there a pushing away of this investigation? An unwillingness to go further?
Just notice whatever resistance might arise.
Notice what limits the approach of awareness.
Is there a quality of holding around the area of discomfort?
Examine it. No need to change anything.
Receive the moment as it is.
Nothing to define. Just allowing a willingness to know, just allowing
a not knowing, to receive the moment.
As awareness makes contact with the sensations that arise in the area
of discomfort, what feelings are present in the moment-to-moment flow around sensation?
Does thought arise? Do certain feelings accompany unpleasant
sensations? Do other images arise?
What are the voices around pain?
What is the tone of voice of the feelings that huddle around the unpleasant?
Do they repeat a certain theme? A certain state of mind?
What emotions are noticed there?
Is there fear or shame?
Is there anger or doubt?
Nothing to create, just receiving the moment as it presents itself in a receptive awareness.
Do any of these feelings limit the entrance of mercy into the pain?
Do any of these feelings seem to resist letting the healing in?
Is there unfinished business around the pain? Is there some grief?
A sense of betrayal? Feelings of failure?
So little mercy we have for ourselves.
Is there a sense of urgency in the mind which creates stiffness in the
body, a holding around pain?
Has life become an emergency?
Are there feelings, moods, held in the body, associated with discomfort?
Is there guilt or doubt? Feelings of betrayal?
Is there a sense of helplessness or hopelessness?
Does this grief around pain free it or enslave it?

Have mercy on yourself. Soften to the holding.
Soften the discomfort.

Allow the body to open and soften around whatever hindrances, whatever
holdings present themselves.
Soften the tissue all around discomfort and let it begin to float in a merciful awareness.
Let the body cradle its hurt places as if it were embracing its only child.
Nothing to push away.
Opening moment to moment all around sensation. Softening the
tissue, the flesh, the hardness around sensation.
Allowing sensation to be received in a merciful softness, a
willingness to meet it with kindness rather than grasping it in fear and
trembling. A willingness to let it go, to let it float in the vast space of the heart.
Whatever attitudes, feelings, or thoughts accompany discomfort, let them float too.
Let the whole mind and body be received moment to moment in mercy and softness.
Whatever arises into awareness, just let it be.
Notice how judgment or fear or even a longing for healing can tighten the area.
Let these mental images come and go. Notice how even expectation
can create tension and let it too float in the vast spaciousness of awareness.
Watch how a hard thought can harden the body. See this process
soften to it. Notice how feelings can amplify discomfort.
And soften yet more deeply.
Observe how softening lets it all float in edgeless awareness.
Allow each sensation and each moment of feeling to arise and dissolve in soft, open space.
Receive each particle of emotion or sensation as if for the very first time.
Acknowledging even the slightest tension or holding in a soft,
allowing awareness, let the healing in.
Just allow the open space of a merciful awareness to receive the
constant flow of change in the area of discomfort.
Receiving constantly changing feelings, sensations, moods, hopes,
fears, and the deeper healings which present themselves when we hold nowhere.
Let all that arises in the mind body come and go with mercy and awareness.
Let the heart receive it all. Healing entering directly, finishing
business. Letting go of the suffering so the pain can float in a loving
kindness the aching body longs for.

© 1991 Stephen Levine
(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

[This is a variation on the exploration of Emotions around Pain meditation.
It may be particularly useful to those working with serious illnesses of
questionable prognosis.]

Find a comfortable place to sit and let your eyes close.
Bring your attention to the breath.
Let awareness focus on the sensations that accompany each breath.
Gradually allow awareness to come to the level of sensation.
Feel the breath as it passes in and out of the nostrils.
Focus on the moment-to-moment sensation that accompanies each
inhalation and each exhalation.
Mindfulness of breathing.
As awareness settles into the level of sensation, besides the breath,
other sensations are felt in the body.
Allow the attention to move toward these other sensations.
Does the mind label these pain? Just notice what is happening.
Nothing to create.
Just the moment as it is in clear awareness.
Allow awareness to approach more closely these sensations.
Let awareness approach the center of the moment-to-moment
sensations arising in that area.
As awareness attempts to approach the moment-to-moment sensations
in that area, what is felt?
What emotions cluster around these sensations?
Various states of mind arise to “protect the pain.” But turn it to suffering.
Is some stress noticed around these sensations? A sense of betrayal?
Is there fear resisting the entrance of awareness?
Is there anger or shame around the pain?
How does anger differ from shame?
And where is love and forgiveness?
Explore in the silence whatever feelings arise around discomfiture.
Are these feelings a kind of unfinished business with the unpleasant
in our lives? A kind of grief? Are they the lamentations of those parts of
ourselves we have still not integrated into our heart?
Nothing to judge, but note judgment if it arises.
Does judgment accompany pain?
Nothing to fear, but note fearfulness if it is present.
Does fear accompany the unpleasant?
No reason to doubt your ability to heal, but note doubt if it encapsulates the pain.
Does doubt limit further progress?
Cure comes or does not come to the body. But healing is a matter of the heart.
Let the belly soften to receive the moment in mercy.
There is a healing we took birth for. Each moment is it.
To open the heart in hell, to make peace where once there was war.
Even if the body goes its own way the heart will know that way and beyond.
Forgiveness settles unfinished business.
Turning toward that unfinished mental pain that surrounds physical
discomfort begin to send mercy into the center of the moment-to-moment
sensations that arise in that area.
Forgive this poor body. Have mercy on you.
And forgive the fear and anger and shame that constellate uninvited around pain.
Just note their natural presence with a soft awareness.
Send forgiveness to the pains of the mind and body that they may be
received by the heart rather than leaving us lost in the minds.
There is grace when the heart touches the disheartened.
Turn to your body, as if it were your only child, and say, “I forgive you.”
Let awareness enter the moment-to-moment sensation arising and
dissolving in the vast spaciousness of being.
Allow a merciful awareness to receive gently the feelings and
sensations in the area of discomfort.
Not attempting to change anything. Force closes the heart. Just
receiving in mercy and loving kindness this body of sensation, this mind of
feelings, of fears and doubts, of bewilderment and hope.
Have mercy on you. Let the sensations, let the feelings float in the
vast spaciousness of awareness, not holding to anything, not pushing anything away.
Just mercy and awareness meeting feeling and sensation moment-to-
moment as they arise and dissolve in the flow of consciousness.
Let the heart receive the body and the mind with a healing kindness
and care that softens to each sensation. Let it all come and let it all go in
mercy and awareness.

© 1991 Stephen Levine
(To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.)

Find a comfortable place to sit and let your eyes close.
Bring your attention to the level of sensation. Feel this body you sit in.
Let the body be still.
Focus on the sensation of being in a body.
Notice the body’s substantial quality.
Feel the solidity of the body. Feel its weightiness, how gravity pulls on its substance.
Receive this quality of solidity.
Feel the weight of the head resting on the neck. Feel the musculature
of that neck, its strength, its thickness.
Feel the long bones of the shoulders and the thick bony sockets that
support the weight of the arms.
Feel the heaviness of the arms as they rest on either side of the body.
Feel these heavy hands.
Feel the torso, its thickness, its weightiness. The earthen quality of this body.
Feel this heavy body in which you live.
Notice the solidity, the density, the earth element, of the dense body.
The pull of gravity as the buttocks is drawn into the cushion or the
chair, as the feet press against the floor.
Notice gravity’s action on this earthen body.
In this solid body, sensations arise. Tingling, hot and cold, rough
and smooth, soft and hard. Sensations arising in the body.
Recognize this flickering field of sensation.
Don’t grasp at sensation. Just allow these sensations to be received as
they arise in this body we inhabit.
Open to the sensations in the legs, their density, and heaviness. Feel
the solidness of this body.
Explore this container for the life-force.
And explore the life-force as sensation arising and passing away.
And as you note these sensations, notice how though they arise in the
heavy body, they seem to be received by something subtler within.
Something lighter within this heavier form.
Within this heavy body is a body of awareness, a light body which
experiences hearing, seeing, tasting, touching, smelling, received through the outer body.
Feel the body of awareness, this inner body, this light body, perfectly
nestled within the heavier form, receiving experience-experiencing.
Sense the lighter body within. The body of awareness that
experiences all that enters through the senses. It recognizes sound as
hearing. It delights in music. It experiences images as seeing. And
recognizes great beauty. It experiences food as taste. It knows it is alive.
Enter this light body of awareness.
Observe how each breath drawn in through the nostrils of the heavy
body is experienced as sensation by the light body, by the awareness within.
Notice how each breath connects the heavy body with the light body within.
Each breath allowing life, awareness, to remain in the earthen vessel.
Observe the light body receiving the heavy body.
Feel this contact between the heavy body and the light body that each
breath allows. Feel how each breath sustains the light body balanced perfectly within.
Breathe the connection between the outer body and the inner body
drawn in as air, received as sensation. Each breath so precious. Each
breath maintaining the connection, allowing life to remain in the body.
Feel how the breath connects the solid body with the light body.
Experience each breath.
Just awareness and sensation. Each breath. Experience this delicate
balance, moment to moment, as sensation, as awareness itself.
And take each breath as though it were the last.
Experience each inhalation as though it were never to be followed by another.
Each breath the last.
The last breath of incarnation.
Let the breath come. Let the breath go.
The last breath of life leaving the heavy body behind.
Each breath ending. The connection severed between the heavy body and the light body.
The end of a lifetime. The final breath.
Each breath the last.
Let go. Don’t hold on to it.
Let each breath go, finally and forever, don’t even be attached to the next breath.
As the last breath leaves go with it. Don’t hold on. Let yourself die.
Let the light body float free now.
Let yourself die.
Let go now.
Gently, gently, let it all go. Let it all float free. Let yourself die.
Leave the body behind and follow the light into luminous space.
Go into it. Let yourself die into space.
Each breath vanishes. Each thought dissolving into space. Don’t
hold now. Just let go once and for all. Let go of fear. Let go of longing.
Open to the wonder.
Let yourself die. Open into death. Nothing to hold to. That is all
past. Die gently into this moment.
Holding on to nothing, just let you die.
Let go of your name. Let go of your face. Let go of your
reputation. Float free into the vastness.
Leave the body behind. Moving into the vast space of being.
Light dissolving into light. Just vast luminous space. Let go now.
Have mercy on you, let yourself float free.
Merging with space. Space dissolving in space. Light dissolving in light.
Vast, boundaryless, space, expanding into space.
Such enormous peace.
Dissolving. Dissolving. Edges melting. Vast, luminous space, dissolving in space.
Shimmering clouds dissolving at the edge. Clouds dissolving in
space. Dissipating. Dissolving. Merging in space.
Let go into that spaciousness. Hold nowhere. Let your heart merge in your own great fire.
Dissolving. Radiating into space. Merging with light. Dissolving in luminous space.
Let go into the light. In this vast luminosity is all that you have ever
sought. Dissolving into the Great Heart.
Floating free in vast space.
Let go of your knowing. Let go of your not knowing. All that
comes to mind is old. Any thought is just old thought. Nothing to hold to.
Just the simple fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.
Just the light entering the light.
Space within space.
No inside, no outside. Just am-ness. Edgeless being in endless space.
Dissolve into it. Floating free of the body, free of the mind.
Merging in boundaryless space.
Space expanding into space. Dissolving into space. Floating in the vastness.
Peace. Mercy. Space.
And from across vast space notice now something gently approaching.
It is the first breath of life.
Watch the breath approaching as if from far away. Experience it entering the body.
Each breath the first. Each inhalation the first breath of life.
Each breath completely new.
Each breath bringing us back into the body.
Taking birth once again.
Born back into the body.
Taking birth again to serve and be served. To learn. To teach. To care and be cared for.
Awareness once again entering the body as consciousness.
Pure awareness re-inhabiting pure form. Birth.
Born again into the body. Each breath the first. Born again to bring
mercy and healing to the injured world.
Taking birth for the benefit of all sentient beings.
Taking birth to heal.
The light body once again re-animating the heavy body. Each breath
connecting, maintaining the light body within its momentary vehicle.
Once again the light clothes itself in form so as to act and to complete whatever healing remains.
Have mercy. Born again to the world. Born to bring peace, to bring
kindness. To bring healing to our pain and the pain of all sentient beings,
unto the last blade of grass.
Born to learn, to be.
Each breath so precious, allowing us to stay a moment longer.
Allowing us the healing we took birth for.
Born to take the teaching. Born to bring mercy.
May all beings coming and going know the peace of their own great nature.
May all beings be free of suffering.
Let your eyes gently open.
Look around you. Here you are.

by Joan Halifax Roshi, Upaya Zen Center
Project on Being with Dying

Part 1: Coming Home to the Pureland
Phowa or the transference of consciousness at the time of death is the sixth yoga of the Tibetan 12th century scholar Naropa. A practice in the Bon religion, phowa is a powerful practice involving intention, psychophysical preparation, visualization, and breath that can be done for oneself or another at the time of death. I prefer to strengthen phowa practice by doing a series of psychophysical practices as outlined by Naropa. The physical preparation done when training to do phowa helps the practitioner to purify and gather the energy necessary to do the practice effectively.

I first learned Phowa practice from the late Venerable Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche. He felt that it was profoundly important to teach this practice to health care professionals since the practice can directly y benefit the deceased. He also felt that it is one of the most powerful practices you and I can learn as it brings us to liberation to the Pureland at the moment of death. Later, my Nepalese student, a Bon practitioner, Tempa Dukte Lama, reviewed the practice with me, and we began to teach it to others from the Buddhist as well as the Bon perspective.

The detailed practice itself is accessible and powerful. If done with commitment by a practitioner, signs can appear, like a small swelling or itching at the crown. Even clear fluid or blood has appeared at the crown of those who practice vigorously. Although some people find this practice unusual, many teachers of Tibetan Buddhism and the Bon religion feel that it is an important offering to those who are dying or have died. They teach that most of us will not be able to sustain our liberated state when we die, and Phowa can intervene in our disturbed state of mind and bring us to a state of radiance and bliss known as the Pureland.

Practitioners also have said that after the cessation of the mental function, our energy gathers at the heart and can move out of one of the nine apertures of the body. The reason why we practice Phowa is to develop the habit that the consciousness will move through the top of the head into the so-called Pureland. It is believed that this practice can make it possible for an individual to realize a pure state of being in death. I have done Phowa practice for two decades, and my sense is that this is a beneficial practice to learn for ourselves and to do non behalf of others.

The practice involves a number of elements. First you cultivate commitment and an altruistic heart. Then you do the preparatory physical practices. Then resting in meditation, you visualize the elements of the practice. Then you enter the practice fully. You complete the practice by dedicating the merit of your efforts to the well being of others.

You begin by examining your inner most request that all beings may be freed from suffering. You recognize the futility of your self-centeredness and promise to cherish others. You want with all your heart to help others be peaceful and happy. You then prepare to do the physical practices that will purify and energize the body. During the course of these practices, you give special attention to your breath.

2) Meditation: Phowa Practice
Physical Preparatory Practices
1) You sit in meditation posture, with your spine straight and your legs crossed. Your hands are on your knees. You now raise your right hand, and close your left nostril with your middle finger, while gazing left. Breathe in slowly through your right nostril. Now, you close your right nostril by pressing your thumb against it, and breathe out slowly through your left nostril, throwing the breath at the end of the exhalation. You move your eyes to the right and gaze. Now inhale slowly through your left nostril. You press your middle finger against your left nostril and breathe out slowly through your right nostril, throwing the breath at the end of the exhalation. You now gaze forward, and breathe in and out slowly through both nostrils, throwing the breath at the end of the exhalation. Note: women do this pattern but from right to left. Do this nine times and then relax.

2) You sit in meditation posture with your spine straight and your legs crossed. Your hands are on your knees and your fingers are wrapped around your thumbs, making a fist. Rest your fists vertically on your knees, letting your elbows be straight. Bring your awareness to your breath. You breathe into the abdomen slowly and deeply. Now fill your upper lungs. Finally, you take three final sips of air, and imagine that your are packing air into your central channel. Silently, you swallow and press down the saliva into your throat as you swallow. You now bring your awareness to your pelvic floor and squeeze and lift all of the muscles in the pelvic area. You feel as though you are putting further pressure on the wind in your central channel. You retain your breath for as long as possible. While doing this, let your awareness be in the area just below your navel. You release your breath through both nostrils, throwing it at the end of the exhalation. You do this nine times, and then relax in meditation.

3) You sit in the same position as described above with your hands in fists on your knees and your spine straight. Bring your awareness to your breath. Now gently take hold of your right toe with your right hand, and your left toe with your left hand. Let your body drop forward. You inhale as your torso begins to circle clockwise with the body is moving up. You exhale as your torso circles down. Do this three times, synchronizing your breath with your body. Now you do the same in a counterclockwise direction. With your spine straight, beginning with your in breath, you move your torso slowly from left to right, stretching your upper body. Now you move your torso from right to left beginning with your inbreath, stretching your upper body. You do this three times. You now snap your solar plexus back and forth three times, inhaling and exhaling vigorously through your nose, throwing your breath on the exhalation. After doing this nine times, you rest in meditation.

4) You sit in the same posture as described above with hands in fists on your knees and your spine straight. You tense all of the muscles in your body and inhale as you raise your arms directly in front of your chest, stretching out your arms to their full length in front of you. You exhale. On your inhalation, you slowly move both of your arms so they are pointing left, with your hands still in fists. On your exhalation, you slowly slide your right hand across the upper part of your chest to your right shoulder, touching your shoulder with your fingertips, as you bring your left fist to your heart area. Now, with strong inhalations and exhalations through the nose, you vigorously snap your left elbow against your rib cage three times. Reverse this procedure. You do this nine times, and then rest in meditation.

5) You sit in meditation with your knees on the floor instead of crossed legs. Your spine is straight. Your hands are resting on your knees. You turn your palms upward and curl them like hooks. You press the thumb into the first knuckle of the middle finger, with the fingers pressed around the thumb. On your inhalation, you raise your arms slowly and with tension directly above your head. Your hooked hands are facing behind you. On your exhalation, you change the direction of your hands so they face forward, and you lower your arms and hands, bringing them all the way to your knees. Do this practice nine times, and then rest in meditation.

6) You sit in a kneeling meditation posture with the spine straight. You slowly bend your body over, putting your hands flat on the floor. You lower your head between your arms on your out breath. Now you slowly, with intensity and on your in breath, you raise your head as you straighten your spine. Your hands are still flat on the floor. As you bring your head back down, forcefully expel all the air in your lungs with the sound of “Hah.”Do this nine times.

7) You now stand and shake out your entire body, starting with your feet. Flex your finger joints by pulling at your  fingers. Shake your whole body loose. Massage any part of your body that feels stiff or congested.

3) The Core Practice
Now sit in meditation posture. Visualize a luminous being who is the embodiment of purity and enlightenment. This presence embodies love, compassion, truth and goodness. This being is sitting in front of you. Focus your awareness, with complete commitment on this being. See in this one’s eyes the expression of kindness. See light streaming from this one’s heart in the colors of the rainbow. This light streams into your heart. Feel this being connect with you in an open and compassionate way. Feel yourself being filled with the radiance of this being. Feel this radiance concentrating in the place of the heart. This radiance is not only bliss and love but also has the capacity to purify you, to heal you. You feel at this very moment that you are completely immersed in the light of this loving being. Feeling the vast compassion of this one sitting across from you, you can offer this prayer: “Through your kindness, blessing and help, and through the strength of the light that is streaming from you, may all of my harmful actions of the past
and my unhappiness in this and other lifetimes be purified. May I be fully forgiven for any harm that I have caused others. May I realize this practice and die a good and peaceful death. May I be able to help others through the triumph of my death.” This being now dissolves completely into the radiance in its heart and flows as light into your heart. Now, above your head visualize a being that embodies luminosity and purity. It is this being whom you will enter at the moment of your death.

Next, in front of your spine, you visualize a blue channel the width of your little finger. This channel goes from the crown of your head to just below your navel. On either side of this central channel, you visualize two smaller channels that are to the right and left of the blue central channel If you are a man, white channel is to the right of the central channel and the red channel is to the left of the central channel. If you are a woman, the white channel is on your left and the red channel is on the right.

Visualize the white and the red channels connecting with your nostrils. When you inhale, visualize air moving into these two channels which open to the base of the central channel. You now breathe in deeply and hold your breath, swallow, and raise your pelvic muscles as you did in the second physical practice. As you do this, visualize air being forced out of the bottoms of the white and the red channels into the base of the central channel. You now visualize a white drop in your crown center just above the central channel. The drop is the size of a pea and luminous white. This is the male essence that transforms from anger into clarity when it descends into the heart center.

You visualize a red drop above your genitals and just below the central channel. The drop is the size of a pea and blood red. This is the female essence that transforms from desire into bliss when it ascends into the heart center. Drawing in your breath deeply, you visualize the white male drop being propelled by the psychic wind from the crown down through the blue central channel to the heart center, and the red female drop propelled upward by the psychic wind from the genital area though the blue central channel to the heart. Both drops meet in the heart and surround your consciousness that has gathered into the center of the heart at the time of death. The consciousness element is the size of a pearl. It is transparent, like a bubble, and shimmers with colors of the rainbow. You now gather all of your breath. With forceful intention and energy, visualizing the combined male and female essences and your consciousness as a shimmering rainbow drop at the heart, you propel this drop through the blue central channel to the throat area with seven pushes of energy and breath using the syllable “hik.” With another seven “hiks,” push the drop to the crown, and with the next seven “hiks, push it into the heart of the luminous being above you. At the moment of death, you accomplish the practice by moving the luminous drop directly from your own heart into the heart of the pure being abiding above you.

Next in the practice, visualize the white drop descending from your head, moving the essence of your mind into your heart center. With the descending of the white drop, you see an immaculate autumn sky filled with brilliant sunlight. Imagine the red drop ascending from your pelvic area, the essence of your life energy to the heart. As this red drop is ascending, you visualize a vast and clear copper-red autumn sunset. Visualize them encircling the drop that is your consciousness at the center of your heart. See it as a luminescent pearl. With a forceful exhalation and the sound of “Hik” propel this transparent pearl through the blue central channel to your throat, then in the next sequence to your crown, and in the third sequence of seven “hiks,”out of the top of your head and into the heart of the enlightened being whom you have visualized. Do this practice of the projection of your consciousness 21 times. Now allow your mind to be very relaxed and open. Let go of the visualization of projecting the drop, allowing your mind to become very spacious. Identify with this clear, still, open state of mind. Dedicate the merit of this practice to all beings.

by Joan Halifax Roshi

I The Heart of Meditation Practice

1 Mutuality and Spirituality

2 Stabilizing the Mind and Body

3 Six Aspects of Mindfulness Practice

4 Support for Our Practice

II Mindfulness Practice with an emphasis on Concentration

III Mindfulness Practice with an emphasis on Insight

IV Turning the Mind Toward the Body

1 The Body as Companion

2 The Body Scan

3 Walking Meditation

I The Heart of Meditation Practice

1 Mutuality and Spirituality

When we face dying, the empathy that comes through mutuality, spirituality, practice and service can be our strongest allies. I can find no better proof for their power than in the life of Mahatma Gandhi. Whether he was fasting in protest, weaving, meditating or teaching, Gandhi always directed his activities to the good of others. A humble man, we are told, he based his life in altruism, in his connection with those who were suffering, who were marginalized and materially impoverished. Gandhi realized that he needed to look beyond the bounds of human knowledge if he was not to be separate. All of us, he felt, are naturally limited in our ability to understand everything completely. Truth lies beyond what we can articulate. He sensed that every person is in one way or another, seeking the truth or a meaning to life. And believing that truth is not the sole possession of a single person, he also sought to see things through his opponents’ eyes. His inclusive vision demonstrated his firm belief in the strength displayed by diverse human communities that work together – directly and indirectly – in search of a common good, basing their lives on non-harming, interconnectedness, and love.

For many years, Gandhi’s ideal has guided me in working with those who are dying. His vision embodies a deep trust in the inherent wisdom that arises when we step aside and enter into a spiritual practice, with a commitment to help others. His spirit and inspiration were certainly informed by the strength of his inner life. Meditation gave him insight into his own suffering and the suffering around him. His practice – as he spun his thread and wove his life into the world of pain – gave him the compassion, commitment and the strength to serve others. His deep love of others was matched by his keen sense of social justice, his boldness and courage. All these grew steadily through his contemplative life and his constant responsiveness to the suffering of poor people with whom he felt such a deep direct connection.

It is this strong inner life, based in altruism, that we hope to open in ourselves as we care for others, and to be sustained by as we are dying. A spiritual practice can give us a refuge, a shelter in which to develop insight into what is happening both outside us and within our minds and hearts. It can provide stability – important for caregivers as well as those of us imminently facing dying. It can cultivate wholesome mental qualities, such as compassion, joy and nonattachment that will give us the resilience to face and possibly transform suffering and to realize our basic goodness.

Our own feelings can be powerful and disturbing as we sit quietly with a dying person, or as we bear witness to the emotional outpouring of grieving relatives, or as we are fully present and stable in the face of the fear and anger, sadness or confusion of people whose lives are going through radical change. We may want to find ways to accept and transform the heat or cold of our own mental states. If we have established a foundation in a contemplative discipline, then we may find stillness and spaciousness, resilience and inspiration in the storm, even in the storm of our own difficulties around dying. We also may discover that suffering carries the potential for liberation within it.

A spiritual practice can be an island in which the emotions of uncertainty and doubt become, instead, a refuge of truth. One woman, for example, said that when she meditated she felt as if she was being held in the arms of her mother. She was not escaping from her suffering when she was meditating, she explained, but rather was met by kindness and strength as she let go into pain and uncertainty. And when this happened, she realized the truth of uncertainty and she achieved greater equanimity.

Often we feel that we should not offer silence and stillness when suffering is present. Rather, we tend to feel that we should console. After all, we have to do something. But being in the shared embrace of meditation, a caregiver and dying person can be held in an intimate silence that is beyond consolation. When sitting with a dying person, I find myself asking: what words will really benefit this one who is dying? Can I know greater intimacy through a mutuality that is beyond words and actions? Can I relax and trust in being simply here, without the force of my personality or my knowing blocking my connection to this dying person? But on the other hand, communication and words can really serve. One dying man told me, “I remember being with my mother as she was dying. “She was old like I am now and was ready. I used to just sit with her, hold her hand”. Will you hold mine?”

We can use the gift of language – prayer, poetry, dialog, good words, or guided meditation – as a way to eveal the underlying meaning in moments. The way we listen or bear witness to the testimony of a dying person or a grieving family member can serve the one giving testimony. Perhaps we can listen in such a way that the speaker can at last really hear what is being said. Bearing witness can give the listener insight and inspiration into what we need in the moment and may need in the future. We learn so much receiving the testimony of others. And language can loosen the knot that has tied a person to the hard edge of fear and bring them home to compassionate truths that open the heart. Good words or a guided meditation can also cultivate a positive attitude and be skillful means for attending to the issues that come up around dying.

Buddhism has many contemplative strategies that prepare us for dying and for caring for others. This booklet seeks to give you some guidance on different approaches you can us Take time to explore them and find the ways that suit you and your situation best.

2 Stabilizing Mind and Body

Mindfulness is the core of everything that we do in being with dying and is the very basis of all meditation practices in the Buddhist tradition. Separate practices in Buddhism relate to the development of tranquility and mental stability (shamatha) and to discernment (vipassana). Mindfulness unifies these two approaches. Mindfulness is the practice of giving deep attention to what is happening in the present moment. There are four main arenas on which the practice can focus. It can, first, relate to what is happening in your mind and body, including what is going on immediately around you. For example, you can be mindful of the body and its parts (as in the body scan meditation), of the breath, and physical positions or actions. You can also be aware of the four elements composing the body, or the experience of physical change – such as the dissolution of body in just living or in the experience of sickness, dying, or of pain.

The second arena of mindfulness concentrates on our responses to phenomena. Do we feel that things are pleasant, unpleasant or neutral to us? Are we mindful of phenomena and feelings arising, enduring and disappearing? We can also be mindful of feelings with a psychological or physiological basis, such as our response to pain or pleasure. The third realm of mindfulness lies in our awareness of our mental states. These include desire, hatred, confusion, concentration, dispersion, internal formations, and also clear states of mind.

Finally, mindfulness practice enables us to look at our experience of the objects of mind. This refers to our experience of the sense organs and their objects. It also includes mindfulness of the so-called five categories of skandhas: form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations and consciousness. And it covers mindfulness of the mental factors that obstruct liberation, like anger, and those that lead to liberation, like joy. Also included are the Four Noble Truths that point out the truth of suffering, the causes of suffering, freedom from suffering, and the path leading to freedom from suffering.

Certain Buddhist schools believe that the aspiration to help others powerfully generates mindfulness. This is because commitment that is based in an altruistic state of mind is not so self-centered and helps us to break our strong self-attachment. The desire to serve also gives our practice energy and depth. It makes it more tender and inclusive.

Trust and patience combined with openness and acceptance ó qualities nurtured by mindfulness practice ó enable us to sustain ourselves in being with dying. They help us develop the necessary relationship between compassion and equanimity and learn to respond from a place that is deeper than our personality and our conceptual mind. With equanimity and compassion as inseparable companions in our work, we are also less judgmental and less attached to outcomes.

For me, mindfulness practice has been the foundation of my learning and practice of caregiving. It has given many of us access to the still inner space from which we must learn to draw our strength and wisdom. It also helps us stabilize the mind and the body. It helps us be less reactive and more responsive. It reduces stress, gives us greater resiliency, and opens our intuitive capacities.

The first mindfulness practice focuses on the breath, and the second fosters insight. The third brings attention to the parts of the body (the body scan), while the fourth is walking meditation. These four practices usually begin with giving attention to our posture and settling the body, then to our intention or the development of an altruistic heart. We then place our attention on the breath and begin the practice, whether it is minding the breath, investigating the mind, focusing on the body, or concentrating closely on the experience of walking.

In the first practice, we keep our awareness on the breath. Often I use the breath as the object of my awareness because this very life depends on it. Furthermore, I can discover my state of mind by the quality of my breath. If I need to, I can calm it by regulating my breathing. The body scan can also use the breath to support the focus on different parts of the body. And walking meditation brings breath, mind and body together with the world.

Whether praying or meditating, you need to bring your whole being to your practice for it to have real benefit. Your intention to practice in order to help others, the commitment and energy you bring, all make a big difference in the quality and outcome of your practice. Effort is key. When you fall in love, for example, you put a lot of energy into bringing your best to your beloved. If you are told you are gravely ill, you will concentrate hard on trying to find out how to heal yourself. Your spiritual practice requires the same degree of commitment and effort.

Be aware that if you have unrealistic expectations, they can create problems. A meditation practice is not a quick fix for long-standing mental habits that are causing you suffering. Just as the body needs to be slowly stretched for greater flexibility, so also does the mind need time for its training. You can lift heavy weights in a day if you haven’t conditioned your body to do so. You can go to high altitude if your body is conditioned. If your expectations are too great, you might well decide to abandon your practice when you start having trouble with it.

In fact, so-called trouble should be expected, because when you stop your habitual mental and physical activity and sit quietly with yourself, difficulties often become more noticeable. You can become even more sensitive to suffering and even feel at risk of a breakdown. It is probably your ego that is breaking down, and the healthy part of you should welcome this. But it may often not be easy to accept the raw and difficult feelings that accompany the deconstruction of the ego. Be patient, and know that all of the meditative techniques in this book have been developed over years of trial and error. Time is needed for them to be effective. So have patience. And know that difficulties with your practice might well indicate that your practice is working.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, who developed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, encourages his practitioners to work with seven different qualities or attitudes as a basis for practice. These are the attitude of non-judging, of patience, an open mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go. Even if patience or letting go are not easy for you, at least bear them in mind when you encounter resistance to the mindfulness practice. Try to be patient, try to suspend judgment, even try to let go.

Jon also emphasizes the importance of commitment, consistency in ones practice, and motivation. And this all takes effort. You can  just sit there and expect something to happen. You have to bring all of you to your practice, including the heart of acceptance when it seems as if there is no reason to carry on. Accept this feeling and then go forward. These are all qualities that, when they are used to support our meditation practice, give it strength, depth and continuity. They are exactly the qualities of mind that make our encounter with dying and death more sane.

3 Six Aspects of Mindfulness Practice
Mindfulness practice has six interdependent realms.
These are the practices of: Stabilizing, Bearing Witness, Harmonizing, Not Knowing, Compassion, Invisibility

Stabilizing Practice
In mindfulness practice we begin to quiet ourselves and to stabilize our mental field through concentration. The experience of stilling and calming allows us to begin to see life more clearly, because we become less reactive. When we are just beginning practice, however, we usually discover that we are neither calm nor clear. Stopping our usual external activity gives us the chance to notice the relentless flow of the contents of the mind. And as our mental and physical practice develops, we become internally quieter, and our capacity for self-observation, concentration and our experience of not-knowing deepen. In this way, mental stability is nourished.

Bearing Witness Practice
The next realm of practice begins to open when we work with awareness and acceptance. As a start, we must be aware of what is going on both in the body/mind and around us. This requires mental stability and an ability to concentrate. In the process, we can get in touch with our experience, be it old age, sickness, death, or just the fabric of our daily lives. From here, we may be able to transform what needs to change and accept what we cannot change. When we practice bearing witness, we nurture patience and learn to accept each thing, each moment. Bearing witness in meditation practice will open doors to non-judgment, trust and surrender.

Harmonizing Practice
Our experience of alienation can result from a lack of contact of the mind with the body and the outside world. One of the most important effects of mindfulness practice is that it can help to synchronize the mind and body through the union of breath and awareness, and then to synchronize the mind and body with reality. The thread of the breath sews the mind, body and world together. This is the way that we nurture real intimacy, lovingkindness, non-duality and non-separateness in our lives.

Not Knowing Practice
When our body and mind are synchronized with the world, the non- conceptual intuitive mind awakens. Thoughts and reactivity cease to stand between us and the world within and around us. Since we are no longer caught in a web of concepts, we can perceive directly, beyond language and ideas, and beyond our conditioning. In Zen we call this seeing directly. This is the experience of not knowing, or what Shunryu Suzuki called beginner’s Mind.

Compassion Practice
Once the meditator is in touch with her own life, she may be able to feel the heart of the world. Another way of saying this is that we are not separate from anything. This is compassion. Compassion is action that takes us into the world, where we bear witness to and accept the suffering of others and then help suffering beings, with no attachment to outcomes. This is the realm of bodhisattvas, healers, shamans, teachers, and caregivers those who have made a commitment to helping individuals and transforming social institutions, cultures, and environments.

Invisible Practice
Finally, mature practice is invisible, wise and selfless. In the best of circumstances, when we are mentally stable, accepting, integrated in mind and body, and compassionate, we realize the miracle of this very moment, and we experience the subtlety and richness of our ordinary lives. Mind, body, and reality have become one.

Invisible or secret practice means that there is no separation between our practice and our everyday lives. We have realized the boundlessness and seamlessness of existence. We enjoy the interdependence of the relative world of phenomena in which we live our lives and the absolute, ultimate realm of the unconditioned.

4 Support for Our Practice
I recommend that a beginner to meditation receive instructions from a qualified teacher. There are many meditation teachers in America, Europe and Asia who have the skills to help one begin a stable practice. Mindfulness meditation can be used for stress reduction. It can also lead one to mental depths. A sensitive teacher can support you through both rough and placid waters of a developing practice.

A daily practice is very important. Sitting twenty minutes in the morning and twenty minutes in the evening can help us become acquainted with our mind. Doing at least one retreat a year can deepen and strengthen your practice. A Zen sesshin or a ten-day vipassana retreat at least once a year can be very beneficial. These kinds of retreats always include private interviews with the teacher. This gives the practitioner the opportunity to have his or her practice evaluated.

II Mindfulness Practice with an Emphasis on Concentration
Posture You can sit in a chair or on a meditation cushion. First of all, be aware of your breath and your body. Let your body soften. If you are sitting on a chair, relax your legs and put both feet flat on the floor. If you are sitting on a cushion, cross your legs in front of you and be present to a sense of connectedness with the earth gravity. You can also kneel, sitting astride the cushion. Whichever way, invite the stability and groundedness of the earth into your body and mind. Let your whole body experience the strength of your stable connection with the earth. Bring your attention to your feet and legs and breathe into them. Relax into the firmness of this stability.

Now bring your awareness into your spine. Breathe into your spine. Appreciate how vertical, strong, flexible, and conductive it is. Rock gently from side to side as you settle your posture. The strength of your spine allows you to uphold yourself in the midst of any condition. You can remind yourself of this strength by silently saying, strong back. Your mind and your back are connected. Feel the sense of uprightness and flexibility in your mind.

Now let your awareness go to your belly. Breathe into your belly. Let your breath be deep and strong as your belly rises and falls. Feel your natural courage and openness as you breathe deeply into your belly.

Shifting your awareness to your chest, touch in with the tender, open feeling of this space. Let yourself be present to your own suffering and to the fact that just like you, others also suffer. Imagine being free of suffering and helping others be free of suffering too. Feel the strength of your resolve rising up from your belly. Let your heart be open and permeable. Release any tightness you feel as you allow your breath to pass through your heart. Remind yourself of your own tenderness by saying, “Soft front”.

Now bring your awareness to your lungs. With your spine straight, let your breath fully enter your lungs. Fill your lungs softly with air. With gratitude, remember that each breath supports your life.

At this point, invite the whole front of your body to feel open, receptive, and permeable. Through your open body, you can feel the world, which lets you feel compassion. Through your strong spine, you can be with suffering, which lends you equanimity. Your open heart allows you to be with your strength of mind. Let all these qualities of equanimity, compassion, and strength intermingle. Let them inform one another. Let them give you genuine presence. Strong back, soft front. This is the essence of our work in being with dying.

Bringing awareness to your shoulders, let them soften and relax. Then shift focus to your hands. Experiment with the following two hand positions and see how they inform your state of mind. One is to rest your hands on your knees, leaving the front of your body open. This is a way to enter into shared awareness as you subtly welcome everything into your consciousness. Alternatively you can put your hands together in front of your belly, which strengthens internal awareness and concentration. Your chest is slightly lifted, your neck is straight, and your chin is barely tucked in, giving a small lift to the crown of your head. Your jaw is soft, your teeth are barely touching, and your tongue is lightly pressed against the hard palate just behind your teeth. Your mouth is relaxed.

What you do with your eyes will affect your mind. Work with the following three possibilities. Your eyes can be gazing forward, not grasping onto anything. They can be slightly open, gazing down at the floor. Or they can be closed. With your eyes gazing open, you can be with life as it unfolds, bringing forth a sense of luminosity to the phenomenal world. With your eyes slightly open, you are at the threshold between your mind and the outer world. Not entering either world you bring both together in emptiness. With your eyes closed, you relax into an undistracted concentration.

Whatever sounds, sights, smells, tastes, or feelings arise, simply let them pass in and out of your awareness as you keep your mind on your breath. Allow yourself simplicity. You are relaxing in such a way that you can begin to drop into a place that is deeper than your personality, deeper than your identity, deeper than your story.

Intention
As we sit down to practice mindfulness meditation, it’s important to touch in with our intention. Why are we meditating? Is it only for self- gratification? Remembering interconnectedness that if others are suffering, we cannot be fully happy helps us see the futility of self-centeredness. Recall someone to whom you feel especially close, whom you deeply wish to be free of suffering. Let your wish help strengthen your aspiration to help others. As you experience fully how this feels, breathe deeply into your belly.

Diaphragmatic Breathing
Now bring your attention to your breath and breathe into your belly. The diaphragm is a muscle that can hold fear. Let your deep and unrestricted in breath move your diaphragm down. On your out breath, let go of any hesitation, any fear that might be arising. This deep breath is an experience you will use to strengthen your awareness.

Awareness of the Breath
With your attention on your breath, silently count your out breaths, from one to ten. When thoughts, feelings or sensations take your attention away from your breath, you will lose count. When you become aware that your concentration has faltered, simply label what has distracted you as thinking. Feeling or sensation. Then quietly return to counting your breaths, beginning with one. Keep your practice very simple and direct, gentle and precise.

You also may use words to help deepen your concentration. For example, you can say to yourself silently on the inhalation, breathing in, I calm body and mind; on the exhalation, breathing out, I let go On the inhalation, you can say silently, dwelling in the present moment; on the exhalation, this is the only moment.

One of the reasons we bring our awareness to the breath is to deepen our concentration. When the mind becomes very concentrated and stable, it is easier for us to see the world as it is. Not only can we have insight into reality, but we can also see directly, beyond language and concepts, into reality’s very nature. Perceiving directly lets us respond seamlessly – with compassion and stability to the world as it is.

Dedicating the Merit When we have completed our meditation practice, we offer to others whatever good has arisen for us. We also remind ourselves to bring the spirit of practice into our everyday life in order to help others. Finally, we recall the elements of the practice that we are bringing into life stability, strength, openness, flexibility, concentration, commitment, relaxation, confidence, courage, tenderness, compassion and equanimity.

III Mindfulness Practice with an Emphasis on Insight
Let your body settle as you adjust your sitting posture. Remember: strong back, soft front. Remember why you are meditating. Let the truth of your motivation become present for you. Cultivate a heart of kindness and altruism.

Bring your attention gently to your breath. Allow yourself to breathe naturally and comfortably. Be aware of the breath moving in and out of your nose. Bring your attention to the touch of your breath on the nose, where the breath enters. Gently keep your attention at this point. If you lose touch with this point of attention, when you realize that you have strayed, bring your mind back to the breath.

Thoughts, feelings and sensations arise as you are breathing. This is natural. They are like waves on a beach or leaves falling. No need to grasp or identify with these phenomena. Accept that this is happening and keep your foreground attention on the breath.
Be aware of the quality of your breaths. Are they long or short, shallow or deep? Let your awareness touch and be aware of the quality of your breath as you keep your foreground attention on the point where the breath enters the nose.

Be with each moment as it is. Don’t try to do anything or get anything from this experience. Simply accept whatever is arising and let your attention rest on your breath. Let your awareness penetrate to the experience of the sensation of breathing. If thoughts arise, simply be aware of their presence and motion in the mind, and return to the breath. Do not invite your thoughts to tea. Just let thoughts arise and pass away. The same for feelings and sensations.

Moment by moment, thoughts, feelings and sensations arise in our experience. They pass from our experience. Let them arise and pass away into boundlessness. There is no need to do anything. And keep your attention gently on your breath.

Who we feel we are also arises from boundlessness and will pass away into boundlessness. Do not cling to any idea or description. Just let go of the sense of a solid identity and be with the flow of your breath.

All things in our experience, whether the body, or in the mind or the world, arise and pass away. Simply keep your attention gently on the flow of the breath, and allow the arising, abiding and passing of phenomena, including your own life – just to be what it is.

IV Turning the Mind Toward the Body
1 The Body as Companion
We were born in this body, and we will die in this body. It is our constant companion throughout life. Turning the mind toward the body with kindness, awareness and acceptance makes it easier for us to be with its ever-changing conditions. With a strengthened bond between mind and body, we can enjoy a state of genuine presence. With genuine presence, we can begin to cultivate an attitude of no fear. This is how we bear witness and heal. One of the most direct ways to train in bearing witness is the practice of scanning the body, being fully present with the experience of the unique and intimate experience of this body. I often use the body scan in my practice with others to work with pain, insomnia or anxiety. It also helps us to loosen the knot of thought that can be tightly tied around mental and physical discomfort. It is a skillful way of learning to really feel the body through putting our awareness on the breath, and using our imagination and intention to be with each particular part of the body more fully.

The body scan can be done from head to toe and back to the head, or from toe to head, and then returning the awareness down the body. In this practice we are in a continual flow of mindfulness from one region of the body to another. Not fixating on one part of the body alone, our mindfulness becomes more fluid as we gently move our focus from one part to another. You can use the breath to guide the practice or simply work with attention on each body area. The practice can be read to you by a friend, listened to on a recording, or easily remembered. You can do it laying down, sitting on a cushion in a meditation posture, or seated in a chair.

The body scan practice started as a Burmese meditation practice called Sweeping in the school of U Ba Khin. It has been further developed by the Indian vipassana teacher, S. N. Goenka, and Jon Kabat-Zinn, who began the work of mindfulness-based stress reduction. This particular version invites the practitioner to turn toward the experience of the body with kindness, acceptance and gratitude.

2 The Body Scan
Let your body relax and soften. Bring your attention to your breath. Breathe deeply into your belly. Your body is beginning to settle. If you become uncomfortable, you can quietly adjust your posture.

Breathing deeply, bring your awareness to your body.

Remind yourself of its inherent awareness, ease, and vitality. Invite yourself to relax into these elements. Let your body feel open and safe.

Bring your attention to the top part of your head, to your skull and scalp.
Breathe into your scalp. As thoughts arise, just let them be. Be aware of any tension in your scalp. On your next inhalation, breathe out gratitude.

Move your attention to your forehead. Be aware of your forehead, accepting whatever tension might be there. Breathe into your temples. Let your temples feel cool and relaxed. Accept any tension or pain in your temples. As you breathe in, let your temples feel open and soft.

Put your hand over your eyes as you breathe into them. See if you can soften your eyes as you breathe in. As you breathe out, let go of all hardness in and around your eyes. Breathe openness and awareness into your eyes. Breathe out gratitude for your clear, bright and relaxed eyes.

Bring awareness to your ears and the muscles around and in your ears. Breathing in fully, open your ears. Exhaling, feel grateful for being able to listen and bear witness.

Breathe in through your nose. Feel air passing in and out of your nostrils. Breathing in, imagine that the air you are inhaling is full of vital energy. Breathe out gratitude. On your next inhalation bring your awareness to the place in your nostrils where you can feel air entering. Feel the exhalation passing out of your nostrils. Let your concentration deepen. Be aware of where the air enters and leaves your nose.

Bring your awareness to your mouth. Feel your lips, your gums, teeth, and tongue. Let your mouth feel warm and open. Relax your whole mouth, letting your jaw soften. On your inhalation bring a slight smile to your mouth. On your exhalation feel yourself letting go of tension. Relax your jaw, your cheeks, your lips, tongue and throat. Gently move your awareness to your throat and neck. Let your awareness rest lightly in this area. Feel your neck and throat. Breathe into your neck and throat. Accept whatever tightness might be in this area. Breathe out gratitude.

Bring your awareness to your shoulders. Breathe into your shoulders. Let all tension melt from your shoulders as you exhale. Let your shoulders drop as you relax them. Give away any sense of heaviness in your shoulders. Let go of your burdens. On your in breath give your shoulders space. On your out breath drop your shoulders even farther.

Let your awareness be in your arms. Inhaling and exhaling, breathe into your arms. Be aware of any tightness in your arms. There is nothing that you need to hold. With your attention lightly on your arms, breathe in spaciousness. Breathe out relief and release.

Touch your hands with your awareness. Let them open. Your palms are facing upward. Breathe into the palms of your hands. Inhaling, feel simple generosity in your hands. Exhaling, imagine the tension in your arms and hands flowing out through the ends of your fingers. Let your hands feel light and alive.

Bring awareness to your spine. Breathe into your spine, letting it stretch with your inbreath. Feel the strength of your spine on your outbreath. On your inhalation be aware of your rib cage expanding. As you exhale, feel the aliveness of your spine. Appreciate the strength of your spine.

Bring your attention to your chest and lungs. Breathe deeply into your lungs. Fill them so that your chest rises after your belly does. Give your chest space in which to breathe deeply. Breathing in, you feel your chest opening. Feel your lungs expanding. Be aware of any tightness or feelings of loss and sorrow. This is a very deep breath. Breathing out, appreciate your lungs. Now breathe into your heart. Be aware of any tightness in and around your heart. Feel your heart open to your attention and your breath. Bring your attention to the tissue around your heart. Feel your heart being supported by healthy tissue and cells. Bring your attention to the veins and arteries leading to and from your heart. Visualize your arteries as clear and open. See your veins carrying healthy blood into your heart. As you breathe in, appreciate your heart. Breathing out, feel gratitude for your good heart.

Bring your attention to your diaphragm. Let your diaphragm open as you breathe in deeply. Be aware of your whole torso as you exhale and feel your diaphragm. Breathing in, feel your diaphragm drop, giving your heart and lungs space in which to expand. On your exhalation, let go of any tension.

Move your attention to your liver. Breathe into your liver and gallbladder. Be aware any tightness you may have there. As you breathe in, give your liver and gallbladder space. As you exhale, let go of any feeling of anger that you might have. Breathing in and out, appreciate your liver and gallbladder.

Move your attention to your stomach. Breathing in, you are aware of your stomach. Breathing out, appreciate your stomach. Breathing in, be aware of the digestive function of the stomach. As you exhale, let yourself feel grateful for your stomach.

On the next inbreath, let your awareness be in your kidneys and lower back.
On your outbreath. be aware of any anxiety you may be experiencing.
Now breathe in strength and awareness into your kidneys and lower back.
Breathing out, give space to your kidneys and lower back.

Bring your attention to your bowels and bladder.
As you inhale, feel your guts expanding with the inbreath. On your outbreath,
be aware of any tension in your bowels and bladder. Be aware of the function of elimination
performed by your bowels and bladder. Bring breath and spaciousness to your bowels and bladder. Feel grateful for your bowels and bladder.

Move your awareness to your reproductive organs. On your inbreath,
be aware on how your reproductive organs feel. On your outbreath, give these feelings space. Breathing in, appreciate your reproductive organs. Exhaling, give your entire pelvic area a feeling of space and ease.

Be aware of your thighs. Breathe into your thighs
as you settle your attention into them. Breathing out, let your thighs soften. On your inhalation, feel gratitude
for the support of your thighs. Breathing out, appreciate your thighs.

Bring your awareness to your knees. Breathe into your knees. On the outbreath
be aware of the small muscles around your knees. Feel grateful for your knees. Breathe healing into your knees.
Breathe out any tension and pain in your knees.

Bring your attention to your calves and shins. Breathe into your calves and shins. Exhaling, be aware of any tension in your calves. Breathe in spaciousness to your calves.
Breathe out gratitude that your legs have taken you so far in your life.

Breathe into your feet, bringing all your attention to your feet. On your outbreath, be aware of any tension in your feet. Imagine on your inbreath that you are breathing all the way through your body into your feet.
Let your mind touch your feet. On your outbreath, appreciate your feet.

To complete this practice, slowly, gently and smoothly bring your awareness from your feet to your legs; to your pelvic area; to your stomach and liver; to your chest, heart, and lungs; to your spine; to your shoulders, arms, and hands; to your neck; to your face; to the top of your head.

Breathe in and out smoothly as your awareness travels up and through your body. When you have reached the top of your head, return your awareness to your breath, then let it gently spread to your whole body. Stay this way for some minutes.
Take a few moments to relax with an open and quiet mind.

Before completing the practice, breathe and send all of the well-being that you have experienced to others.
When you are ready, open your eyes.

3 Refreshing Mind and Body through Walking Meditation
One day I walked my father down the corridor of the hospital where he was dying. The respiratory therapist realized that my father and I were very comfortable with each other and that I might enjoy encouraging him to move his old bones and get his breath going. I wrapped my right arm around him, and began to slowly walk in time with his breath. Step by careful step, we made our way down the hallway, breathing and stepping with the pace of his breath. This is something I do every day in my zendo at home, but without my arms around my father.

Walking meditation is a practice where we bring the mind, breath and body together. We can clasp our hands together in front of us at waist level, and let the body settle in the same way that we do in sitting meditation. The shoulders are soft, the face relaxed, the spine straight and alive, and the breath deep in the body. And then we take a step. We begin by inhaling and gently stepping with our left foot. When the foot touches the ground, we might be still inhaling or we might be on our exhale. We just let our attention sink with the breath into the foot, and feel solid and present as we complete our exhalation. On the next inhalation, we step with the right foot.

Sometimes, we might want to really settle our mind. In that case we can pay close attention to the sensation of our heel touching the floor, then the ball of our foot, and then our toes. We can feel each toe as it touches the floor, and then we might pause until the breath is complete and feel the strength of just being present.

This is the practice of one breath, one step. We can go even slower, as is taught in Burma, when we slowly and carefully lift the foot with an inhalation and exhalation. And then gently place the ball of the foot and toes on the floor with an inhalation and exhalation. Or we can walk faster, with one whole step on the inhalation, and one whole step on the exhalation. No matter what our velocity, the structure of the walking is normal. That is to say, we don’t lift the foot high off the ground or hold the foot in the air in mid-step. If we are doing a very slow walking meditation, we just lift the heel off the floor but keep the ball of the foot rooted until we have completed our breath cycle.

If you are walking outdoors or down a hospital corridor and you want to practice walking meditation, just relax and breathe normally. You might take two steps on the inhalation and three steps on the exhalation. Find the number of steps to a breath that works for you. You can count your steps to the inbreath. As you breathe in, for example, you can say silently to yourself, one, two and as you breathe out, one, two, three.

The Vietnamese teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, encourages his students to use verses with walking practice. When I am outdoors, I might say, walking [one step], the green [one step], earth [one step]. Or if I am walking down a corridor, I might simply count my steps with my breath or say to myself, one breath, one step. Sometimes I make up a verse appropriate for a particular moment. For example, when walking with my father, I said to myself, I am grateful [one step on the breath] for my father [one step on the breath.)

A student of mine from Nepal had never practiced walking meditation before, though he had lived in a monastery since he was six years old. It really surprised him that the practice was so refreshing. I feel his experience of the practice is true, and I encourage doctors and nurses to use it to help them transform the often rushed and harried way they move through the hospital. It is also a wonderful gift to give an old person or someone who is sick and needs to move. Doing walking meditation with someone who is elderly and frail brings you together in a new and intimate way that can engender trust and well being.